Just the Facts: Peer Pressure & Guiding the Conversation

“JUST THE FACTS” is a series focused on substance use and mental health written especially for young adults and their parents. It’s easy to understand and judgment-free, giving young adults just the facts they need to help them make informed choices.

As your child embarks on a new school year, they will experience a range of emotions. They may fear attending a new school, wonder where to sit at lunch, and feel uncertain about who will be in their friend group. With all these new and unfamiliar feelings, parents, guardians, and caregivers play a crucial role in providing guidance and protection from peer pressure. It’s important to learn how to have open and honest conversations with your child about the peer pressure they may face regarding substance use.

“Just Say No” Campaign

Have you ever heard about the “Just Say No” anti-drug campaign from the 1980s?

At the time, First Lady Nancy Reagan said she came up with the name while meeting with school children in Oakland, CA when a student asked her, “Mrs. Reagan, what do you do if somebody offers you drugs?”

“Just say no,” Mrs. Reagan replied.

In retrospect, those three words oversimplified both the nature and reality of what happens surrounding substance use. Critics have said the message was too simplistic and vague. We have to know why we are saying “no,” and that requires real information to make these important decisions.

Peer Pressure

“Pressure” usually implies the use of persuasion, influence, or intimidation to make someone do something — and has more of a negative effect.

You are pressured to do the same things as others — and you have to do it in order to be liked or respected by them. This is not limited to teens. If they are being honest, most people over 30 will probably admit they still feel pressured to be like their friends or work colleagues.
Yes, but let’s call that peer support. Are they encouraging you to grow as a person? Supporting you as a friend? Encouraging your ability in sports, a competition, in theater, volunteer, or getting you to be “more green”? It’s not always a bad thing if you end up growing as a person or are doing good for others!
No — it can actually be active or passive. Active peer pressure means that someone is actively trying to persuade you to do something. Passive peer pressure means that you may not be actively pushed by your friends, but you may feel like you have to go along with the crowd in order to fit in.
People vape for a wide variety of reasons: boredom, curiosity, rebellion, and so on. Your friends may know it’s not good for them, but may still decide to take the risk. They may also simply be unaware of the health risks.

Sometimes your friends may feel like you are judging them if you don’t join in. If that’s the case, one person we talked to uses the following response: “That’s cool, but I’m going to pass today. I don’t feel like it.”
You can figure out a reason that works ahead of time. Some examples:
- “I have asthma, and my doctor told me I can’t (smoke, vape, use drugs) along with my asthma medication.”
- “I’m up for a new job (or entering military service, sports, law enforcement) and I can’t risk it when I get tested.”
- “No thanks. I’m just not into it.”
- We also like the sub-Reddit acronym “IWNDWYT” which means: “I will not drink with you today.”
We know some people who use a tried and true excuse: blame your parents! Seriously — when all else fails, you can generally save face when you cash your parent card whether it’s smoking, using or drinking. For example, a teen who is pressured to drink or use might say, “No, I can’t. My mom waits up for me and she’ll know if I smell like beer/weed. I’d be grounded for life.”

Others use an agreed on phrase to text a parent or a friend whey they don’t want to look like they are bailing — which becomes code for “get me out of here.”

Finally, this may be your least favorite option, but let’s just put it out there: you can make the decision to change your group of friends. Some will respect that and follow you. Others won’t. If they don’t respect your choices, they never respected you in the first place.

Making SAFE Choices

Providing young people with comprehensive and accurate information, as well as the necessary skills and resources, so they can make thoughtful and safe choices in areas such as education, relationships, health, and personal development. This is key to prevention!

Resources for Parents

Organizations and Resources:

Additional Articles and Websites:

Resources

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Just the Facts: Addiction & The Brain

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Make a Memorial Donation

Just the Facts: Peer Pressure & Guiding the Conversation

“Just Say No” Campaign

Peer Pressure

Making SAFE Choices

Resources for Parents

Resources

Invite Someone To Take the No Shame Pledge

Just the Facts: Anxiety in Mental Health

Just the Facts: Alcohol

Just the Facts: Know The Signs

Just the Facts: Addiction & The Brain