Navigating the Holidays as a Young Person in Recovery

Addiction stole me away from my family. Love brought me back. I think about that love often because it is why I chose to live. For years, I felt like I didn’t live up to my family’s standards, making the holidays a difficult time. I couldn’t stand being in my own skin, while all my relatives were grown up and successful. My self-loathing and the family’s watchful eye on my every move led me to stop showing up. I estranged myself from my family. Yet, all they wanted was to love me and for me to feel that love. In Recovery, my holiday experiences are different. I still feel awkward and directionless at times, but I do not assume anyone’s disapproval. I am a Survivor. My life and my place on earth is a gift by the Grace of my Higher Power. That place extends to the family dinner table. Now, I know that my experiences have immense power. I know that my Recovery is my most cherished accomplishment. I know that my life is exactly as my Higher Power intends. When I embrace these personal truths, I can embrace the love that surrounds me-and let go of the rest.

As someone who has faced addiction and is now in recovery, I’ve learned a few strategies that help me navigate this season successfully:

I make a plan. This might mean bringing a trusted friend, leaving early, or preparing responses if I’m offered drugs. It’s also okay to say no to events that feel unsafe or overwhelming.

Community is a cornerstone of my recovery. Whether it’s attending meetings or leaning on friends from the Rising Scholars program, the CRLA cohort, and the We Rise Club at Mt. San Antonio College, staying engaged reminds me I’m not alone.

The holidays are about connection, not drugs or substances. I try to focus on traditions that foster joy and gratitude, like volunteering, spending time with family, or creating new, drug-free memories.

Recovery is deeply personal, and for me, it’s about nurturing my well-being. A few years ago, drugs nearly took my life. Recovery isn’t just something I practice; it’s a lifeline I hold onto with everything I have. The holidays, with all their social pressures and emotional highs and lows, can be especially challenging, but I approach them with the same determination that saved my life.

During the holidays, this might mean going to the gym, journaling, or simply taking time to breathe amidst the chaos.

For anyone in recovery, it’s important to remember: your journey is your priority. The holidays are just one season in your life, and staying true to your path is the best gift you can give yourself.

COME ON SOMEBODY!

The holidays can be difficult for everyone but can be even more challenging for those living a recovery lifestyle. It seems one of the most time-honored traditions in many American households is getting together as a family, eating a large meal, and drinking excessively. This can be at odds with people who are trying to moderate their drinking or abstain altogether. Other issues that sometimes arise is the constant barrage of questions from well-meaning friends and family asking us, “Why aren’t you drinking? Or “You can just have one, it’s Christmas.” Trying to explain to others who don’t think like you do can be just as tricky as being around substances.

As a person in longtime recovery, I like to think about my own experience. For years, I was lost in the grip of alcohol and drugs and disconnected from the ones I love. Getting sober and finding a stable footing created for me a path to reconciliation, forgiveness, & hope that I used to rebuild my relationships. By the time my family began to trust me again, I was just so glad to get the chance to show them who I had become, for I had done plenty of “telling” over the years.

That first Christmas was difficult not only because I did not have my previous coping method, but I also had a lot to prove. Alcohol was everywhere, and I did have to explain to more than a few distant relatives why I was not imbibing. I remember becoming extremely uncomfortable, not because I was around substances but because I still felt like there was something wrong with me. In my own communities, I was understood, and drugs and alcohol were rarely mentioned. With my own family, I felt that even though I had overcome, it might never be enough to change the “otherness” that I felt.

At this time, I was working a 12-step recovery pathway and was deep in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. I remembered a line from one of the stories in the back that had stood out to me only the day before. It read, “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life—unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.”

This line explained everything I was feeling at that moment. I now know that I control the way I feel and the way that I react. I sometimes still want to control others and will always be let down when they don’t behave in the way I need them to. I have applied this parable to my life ever since and have watched my acceptance and happiness grow as a result. Holidays and family can be hard. Sobriety can be extremely hard. Learning to accept the world as it is…well, that’s the hardest! But when you figure it out and start viewing the world through this lens, it becomes the perfect solution to see you through.